what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
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