my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
