I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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