it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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