I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
