ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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