He is such a slut. More and more my type.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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