too bad you live with your parents still
He uses pillows to masturbate.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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