I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
nutella sex= disaster
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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