I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
