remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I looked at my own cervix.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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