i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
