I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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