Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
He kissed a someone with a penis
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
