shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
