I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
