i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
