it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
