areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i think i have two assholes
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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