from now on my penis is your penis
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
