Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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