Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
