Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
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