she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
