I puked a lego.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
