You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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