Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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