I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize