Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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