you guys were way drunker than both of me
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
