she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
