i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
