READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize