So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
