WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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