Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
