I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Randomize
