Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
