The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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