Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
