the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
