thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
