I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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