I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
