I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
My life is pants optional.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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