Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
