and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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