you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
