Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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