Fine. I'll sleep in my office
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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