it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
