I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Are my feet made of real feet?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
