so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You dont lie about slip and slides
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Can vaginas get frostbite?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
