he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
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