she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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