Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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