She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
