all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
