so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
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