Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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