As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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