Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you will always have a special place in my vag
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
We left the knife in your bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize