Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
